I’m sorry I have not posted in a while. I have been trying to get some things related to my business accomplished, however, I have also recognized where all of my emotional and physical energy has been going.

To begin with, I am the type of person that if I surround myself (on purpose or accident) with negativity it completely drains me of energy, increases my anxiety, depresses me, and causes my IBS to get out of control. I recognize this about myself. According to my therapist I also have a hard time letting people in and when I do then I do whatever I can for them. Recently I have realized that someone that is undergoing their own mental health problems has been utilizing my compassion and friendship as a dumping ground for their negativity. At one point I had asserted that I could not take a ton of negative energy that day, their response was if I cannot talk about anything negative then I have nothing to talk about. Subconsciously, this triggered me to realize that if I want them to feel free to talk to me at all I HAD to absorb their negativity. This means that anytime that person asks me, “Are you okay to hear about this?” I felt that I had to respond yes, I was okay or they would shut down. Again, my attachment causes me to be blind toward these things until I am run down and messing my health up.

I had come to this realization before my trip. I was dreading the trip, my therapist did say that I could only provide the framework for a good experience and everything else is up to the guest. I am sorry about the car ride, they say that they forgave me, but they are also being very passive-aggressive.

If you come away from spending time with someone drained, and you dread seeing someone, then they are not the right person for you to be spending time with.

My energy for the next three months is going to be focused elsewhere. This is the last of my focused attention that person gets.

In terms of the crafts I have been working on:

One of my Aunts asked me to do some embroidering (on my embroidery machine) for her. This caused me to look at other websites that have embroidery files available, and it is amazing some of the artwork out there! There is some chatter about restrictions being placed on patterns, what I have seen is most of the retailers are trying to restrict large businesses from taking their artwork and doing major production with it. I’m not going to do that, though I do question whether they are able to restrict access that way. I’m not planning on doing any major production, however I am hoping to create some book covers for notebooks having to do with Pride right now. After that is done, and I have sent my Aunt all of the pieces she requested (and more of course), I am going to play a lot more with my Embroidery Machine and some of the amazing patterns available out there.

My garden is coming along pretty well, though I did thoroughly drown my carrots. I am going to take some time this week, since I took time off of work for another friends wedding that is not happening now (long story not mine to tell but the couple is still happily together), to work on my garden and figure out how I can mow around all of my planters. I might also just work on making paths/planting into the ground, so that I don’t have any grass growing in my front yard. I already put down landscaping fabric so that a lot of the grass is killed in the medium between the sidewalk and the road. After the grass dies down I plan on planting tons of bulbs to create beauty.

Okay, I have to get back to my full-time job now. Remember that no one is worth your health and happiness, Live Life A Little More Abstract!